Item 16: London Transport Museum... "Please mind the gap..."

Location: London Transport Museum, Covent Garden Piazza, London, WC2 E7BB

It's been four months since my arrival in London and the Tube has been my best friend. From the very beginning, as I boarded the Piccadilly line at Heathrow Airport, my deep dependence has fostered our relationship on a daily basis. And so, it was time to get to know each other a little better and meet Tube's family with a visit to the newly refurbished London Transport Museum.

An £8 admission fee and a lift ride that counts down as you travel back in time to the 1800's brings you to the start, where horse and carriage serviced the city. As you venture through the exhibits that progressively bring you to the transport systems of the present day, visitors are provided with a card to collect 13 stamps throughout the complex. Each stamp provides a representation of the transport of the times. Hence, the first stamp is in the shape of a horse and cart. The rest I shall leave as a surprise.

If the stamps fail to capture your interest, as transportation improves through the ages so does the level of interaction with the displays. Put up a fight against the little kids and their parents, and get in quick for a chance to drive your own train in the 21st century. Or give the kids a nudge in the direction of the makeshift rails to see what will happen in the real world.

As for the my beloved Tube, be captivated as you watch the development of the network though the joining yellow, blue, green, red, silver, brown, black and maroon lines on the big screen to form the current map of today.

A fulfilling afternoon at the museum, and happy memories come to mind as I hear the station annoucement, "Please mind the gap between the train and the platform".

Item 16: London Transport Museum? CHECK!

Item 15: I Knit London.... Yes I do!

Location: I Knit London, 13 Bonnington Square, Vauxhall, SW8 1TE

Let's start at the beginning. I'd met new friend through a friend who modelled her warm and cosy beanie at a party, only to be told that it wasn't to be found at any high street store but in fact she had made it herself. "Come along to my knitting club".

Meetings are held by the club twice a week, one night at the I Knit London store and the alternate night at a Pub. More importantly the shop also has a liquor licence which ensures Each gathering welcomes you with a lovely equilibrium of social knitting and alcohol.

The idea of knitting anything more than a few rows to begin a quilters square has always been an deluded concept to me, (and my short attention span). But the lovely members who exhibited their quick knit scarves and intricatly detailed socks and gloves all boosted my enthusiasm to create something big.

Purchasing a giant ball of wool and a pair of needles, I struggled to cast on to start any stitches. It was game over. Time for a cider. But no, the team gave me a helping hand and taught me some hints and tricks that had me knitting like my Granny in no time.

As the ladies compared their crafts and pondered over the practicalities of a knitted woollen bikini, cakes and biscuits were served to warm us further through the evening. By the end of the night, I was happy with my first knitting efforts in London and had enjoyed a good ol' yarn with some friendly crafty London folk.

Item 15: I Knit London? Check!

Item 14: The Church (Forgive Me, Father)

Location: The Forum, 9-17 Highgate Road, London NW5 1JY

I had to do it. Just once.

If you're an Aussie, Kiwi or South African missing home, an afternoon at The Church, in Kentish Town, should provide you with a dose of antipodean spirit that will either motivate you along your backpacker way, or make you renounce your citizenship immediately.

Paying seven pounds at the door 1.30pm on Sunday afternoon, we walked in to the old Forum theatre and were immediately carried away in a gust of boganism to line for drink vouchers, next to the bar selling Jesters meat pies, Twisties and Burger Rings. Three tickets for £7.50, after a tight squeeze in the queue, we made our way to the bar on the other side of the premises to order our three drinks. Lovingly they were served in a sturdy plastic bag that could be tied to your waist in preparation for excess consumption when desired. Drinks secured we headed for the lower level dance-floor to be amongst all the fancy-dress action.

Oh yes, there were girls in wedding dresses, boys who thought they were superheroes, kids in fluro-yellow high-visibility gear and of course, us in our Santa hats, tinsel and our boys wearing their big Christmas gift bags and not much else!

Old school favourties belted out of the sound system and lots of noise arose as the MC's got the cultural rivals to scream for their countries.

Revving up the crowd once more, the female stripper performed two shows during our visit, each time selecting a guy from the audience as her little side kick to lotion things up. Ah, alcohol. The ultimate social equaliser. Although I'm pretty sure the boys she picked wouldn't mind bearing their bums for all any other day of the week.

Actually, there were plenty of bare bums on display amongst the crowd during the day. Adding to this were the boobs flashed on stage, to gain the handicap in the sculling competition between nations. Artistic skill by the cameramen however, meant a quick flash was no longer a flash, more a 30 second freeze captured on the two screens in the theatre.

Then, faster than we knew it, it was 3:30pm. The lights came on and we ploughed through the sea of empty cans and plastic bags on the floor towards the door. A London travellers institution, and how well they have have planned it. As you emerge outside onto the footpath with your inebriated fellow countrymen, you realise The Church really does look out for it's community. As even though it's still mid-afternoon in London - it's already dark!

Item 14: The Church? Check!

Item 13: Kung Fu - Fighting Not As Fast As Lightning!

Location: Local Gym, London

“WANT TO TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT?” The ad at the local gym asked. “How does this sound to you, Wing Chun Kung Fu!”

I summoned my inner ninja and made way for my first class. Having walked through the rain I entered the premises rather impressed that the bottoms of my tracksuit pants had not soaked up the puddles I had failed to defeat during my journey.

The newbie that I was, I waited at reception for the instructor. Raising my eyes at each man that entered through the doors, I wondered whether this was to be the Sifu I had spoken to earlier on the phone.

His advice had been, “Just try it out to see if you like it. It's like life. Don't be intimidated by it otherwise you'll never find out what you really want”.

Embracing this ethos, and replacing the Mr. Miyagi image I had when we met, I followed Sifu Gary into a studio that greeted us with seven rather bulked up young men intensely warming up.

As I lined up with the boys, we went through some kicks, punches and blocks all requiring coordination and balance. I thanked my body for not embarrassing me at the outset.

Following this was half an hour of floor work. Here was the shock to the system. In a row, each individual counted for ten press-ups that the class would complete together. One, two, three…. and this continued until each had counted their set of ten for the class. In total this made eighty. (I cheated). Then there were sit-ups, cycles, leg contortions, and a complete list of other strenuous activities to wake up the muscles that had been holidaying with me in London.

The class finished off with some good looking forms, (like kata in karate), to make us feel like Bruce Lee. A fun and social class on the night and boy did the aches in my body remind me the next day, and for the two days after that too!

Item 13: Kung Fu? Check!

Item 12: BT Broadband... Calling My Agony Aunt

Location: London

“Thank you for holding, we
are very busy at the moment
and apologise for the delay. Your call will be
answered as soon as
possible”.

The well spoken lady on the answering service of BT has been telling me for the last twenty minutes. Come to think of it, she has been telling me for the average half hour before each call I’ve made in the past four weeks to British Telecom.

All settled in a new home after seventeen flat share inspections the only thing missing, now we've overcome the broken boiler and cold shower shortfall we had in the first week, is a telephone line and Internet connection. Gumtree did advertise a flat that was broadband ready, so here I was thinking all I had to do was sign up with a provider. Alas, this is not so.

British Telecom own the telecommunications infrastructure in the UK, and having no previous account with them, I’ve been told by numerous ‘service’ representatives I need to sign up for a twelve month contract for line rental at £10.50 per month, not including call costs. On-top of this there is the broadband fee (the reason of this debacle), minimum £17.99 per month for twelve months. While the competition is open in the telecommunications market over here, customers still require a valid BT land line number before they can sign up to another provider. So, who wears the pants at the telephone exchange?

Defeated in attempting to find the best value deal, I’ve tried to create an order with BT for a landline number. Conversing with international call centre staff; an English lass, by the name of ‘Kristy’ coughing into the phone as she answered it; and it was the lovely Oliver who finally sorted me out with order reference number VOL0117689167578.

Wait, will be right back… just got through to an adviser (just to double check on the order).

Speaking to Jill now…
…. and now to Wayne in the Sales Department!

Ah, the joy! They’ve cancelled my order! Fan-bloody-tastic! Now I need to set up a new order, sign up for a twelve month contract AND pay for £124.99 connection fee as the house has no direct line connecting it to the telephone exchange! Woohoo!!

I must say, BT well done ol’ chap. You have indeed done well, keep the monopoly strong! Fly that flag high! £124.99 to the engineer to plug a switch into the network, and staff as helpful as those in your call centre, let me know if you are hiring…

Item 12: BT Broadband? Waiting... still waiting.... "Welcome to London"

Item 11: Monty Python's Spamalot... At Half Price

Location: Palace Theatre, Shaftesbury Avenue, London

Everyone loves a bargain and what a better way to see a West End musical than for half price?

We bypassed the men, paid to hold the large advertising signs directing pedestrians to the pseudo-cheap-ticket stands, and headed straight for the Leicester Square Half-Price Ticket Booth. Thankfully, in the land of the long draining queue, we were content knowing the line we joined to buy evening session tickets was shorter than that of the matinees, as we prepared for the wait. Reaching the window, confusion suddenly set in as we were faced with the decision as to what show we were to watch for the evening. Cabaret? Rent? Avenue Q was only 25 percent off! Comedy or drama? For the true British experience and some smooth sales talk by the agent, we settled on Monty Python’s Spamalot.

In the majestically decored theatre we settled in our cosy seats, next to neighbouring audience members who would overheat with us as the night progressed.

To be honest, I had never seen a Monty Python episode in my life. As the giggles started as soon as the lights dimmed I was left a little dismayed as it was obvious I had missed something before the first act had begun. Though I had to wait for the action before I could laugh with the crowd at the silliness on stage throughout the evening, it was surprisingly enjoyable knowing that the series had such a dedicated following.

The costumes, lighting, visual aides were all bright and glittering. And the storyline was complete craziness. But it was the audience that made the night so fun, as the sung along in their best singing voices, “...always look on the bright side of life!” and finished off whistling the tune....

Item 11: Monty Python's Spamalot? Check!

Item 10: Stonehenge...Day Trip!

Location: Stonehenge, England

Skipping breakfast and solely dependant on the GPS to get us to the England’s must-see sight, we were off Saturday mid-morning to visit the ancient druids of Stonehenge. Road trip!

As the hunger pains kicked in, a stopover in Salisbury provided a timely introduction to the English country town. A speedy pub bistro lunch of Cumberland sausages and mash, due mainly to the parking meter limits rather than eagerness to see the big stones, we were ready for the onward journey.

As we closed in on our destination, the highway’s roundabout sign directed us to Stonehenge. However, the NavMan does not lie. Besides, the queue of cars at the following exit waiting to enter the driveway to Stonehenge was a dead giveaway as to where to go. Our nifty driver showed no sign of intimidation as we snuggled neatly amongst the big four-wheelers in the queue to the entrance.

Tickets purchased, we entered the heritage listed sight. As the ‘free’ audio guide described the legends of the stones and the surrounding landscapes, we were comforted by the fact that while listening to the little device, at least one ear would be kept warm whilst strolling amongst the tourists from one checkpoint to the next.

My experience of Stonehenge was left a little dampened, being fenced in with crowds of happy-snappers beside the main road, in the chill of the mid-afternoon drizzle. But that being said, it is a holiday and the chance to visit an iconic landmark of England indeed classifies this item as a must-see on the list.

Item 10: Stonehenge? Check!

Item 9: Brick Lane… as they say in India

Location: Brick Lane, London

One drizzly October night, courtesy of a mate’s birthday, I found myself amongst fifteen new friends strolling down Brick Lane in London’s east, in search of some fine Indian tucker.

Strength in numbers, we had the heads of the curry houses (for which the street is renowned), follow us from one restaurant to the next trying to out-bid one another.

“I'll give you 20 no 30, per cent off the bill?”

“One free beer for each of the boys!”

“We’ll give you eight bottles of wine for free!”

It was a sight to behold, and experience.

At the end of the trading session the establishment, upon which we settled, provided us with 20 per cent off the bill and six bottles of free wine. Although not the best financial deal to be settled on the night, we had made the trade-off for a restaurant with the window displaying glowing newspaper reviews, in the hope of dining on quality food rather than reaping economic reward.

Devouring pappadums and assorted chutneys whilst browsing the menu, we were full before our main curry dishes accompanied with mushroom pilaf and naan bread arrived. It was a fantastic meal. The only thing missing, the night’s grace – “As they say in India, get it In d’ya!”

(Thanks Shanks... Happy Birthday Kirsty)

Item 9: Brick Lane? Check!

Item 8: Guy Fawkes Day - Bonfire Night

Location: Parks around London

Guy Fawkes, "the only man to ever enter parliament with honourable intentions," entered the Houses of Parliament intending to blow it up on 5 November 1605. In the land of Old Blighty, this day is commemorated at local parks around the city with a big mother of a bonfire and a fireworks display.

Unfortunately, there was no sight of a burning Guy effigy at the event I attended at Ravenscourt Park. The family friendly show offered festival food vendors selling hamburgers, hamburgers and more hamburgers. These were followed by a dessert of burnt, rather than toasted, marshmallows.

To the tune of The Prodigy’s “Firestarter,” the night was illuminated as the fireworks ignited the bonfire and the flames reached the sky.

Item 8: Guy Fawkes Day? Check!

Item 7: Vegemite Tales (and the Neighbours Stars That Were)

Location: The Venue Theatre, Leicester Place, London

Yes alright, Blair was one of my favourites during the first season that aired of Big Brother in Australia.

The “Vegemite Tales” news was all over Monday’s free weekly TNT magazine. The final curtain was closing on the play, and I jumped at the chance to get close to some home-grown action. Not only was I going to see Blair McDonough but also the guy who played Tad (Jonathon Dutton), in Neighbours in London!

At a play that was scripted to draw on the very experience of a working holiday in a busy London share-house, the audience was a crowd of Aussies coming together for a dose of home (and away).

Filled with the typical stories all too familiar to a young settler, not to mention the Aussie colloquialisms intertwined with the British jargon we tend to adopt throughout our extended stay, there were laughs galore during the show. It was a lovely cause, giving our Neighbours stars headline names on the bill.

Lest it be said, had the scenes not pulled the backpacker heart-strings and resonated so closely with my temporary relocation to London, this experience would have been a little less fulfilling. In the end, it’s good to know that at least our stars can go home and tell Rove or Bert, back in Oz, they made it big in a West End Pantomime.

Item 7: Vegemite Tales? Check!

Item 6: Churros con Chocolate..... Mmmm

Location: Chocolateria San Ginés, Pasadizo de San Ginés 11, Madrid, (Spain)

I've been warned about the "Heathrow Injection," the extra kilos that start unfavourably culminating around the waistline, purely as a result of living in London. Consequently, being abroad for a weekend trip to Madrid was a perfect excuse for a little culinary indulgence.

Hidden away on a side street, just off Sol - the centre of Madrid, is Chocolateria San Ginés. As we approached the cafe, it was obvious the Lonely Planet had once again kindly spilled the beans regarding this little chocolate haven. Tourists, amongst the locals, sat in anticipation for their gourmet orders to arrive, escorted by a waiter in his refined white shirt and bow-tie.

Pleasantly we sat under ornate street lights, in prime people-watching position at the age-old institution. We ordered the traditional cups of thick, smooth and delicately warmed chocolate, with churros cooked to light and fluffy perfection, as highlighted by their delicate sight in the shape of a perfect swirl when they are pulled out of the fryer.

For a Sunday late-morning wake-up, there was nothing to compete with this quality moment.

Item 6: Churros con Chocolate? Check!

Item 5: Spanish Bullfight

Location: La Plaza de Toros de Las Ventas, Madrid, (Spain)

One of the reasons so many antipodeans come to London is to be a stone's throw from mainland Europe. Thus keeping true to this Working Holiday my first weekend getaway was to Madrid, Spain, with the added bonus of catching up with a mate from home.

All consideration for the warning that Bullfighting is quite a gruesome sport to behold, we approached the spectacular La Plaza de Toros de Las Ventas with little reluctance. We were going to watch the bullfights.

Having chosen our tickets wisely, we raced up the stairs of the stadium to locate our padded seats in the upper rows, shaded from Madrid's afternoon sun. Tensely I watched as the brass band played for the first bull to come running into the stadium.

All up, there were six fights, each broken into three stages as announced by a trumpet. Through each, we we watched as the bulls were first tested for their agility and endurance by picadores on horseback and banderillero, (both carrying their weapons of choice), before the bull came face-to-face with the artful matadors and encountered their final moments.

Having only seen "when things go wrong" images on TV, the tradition and skill embodied in the stages of the fight was displayed amongst the action. We saw a bull charge at the horse, dismounting the picadore and worried more for the horse than it's rider. And as the matador's confidence beamed out towards our seats, their ability to turn their back to the aggravated bull proved much more of a trained art than we could imagine.

After the more skillful fights, the underlying culture of the sport surrounded us in the packed stadium, as spectators stood to wave white handkerchiefs of approval.

Item 5: Spanish Bullfight? Check!

Item 4: Tiger Tiger - The London Meat Market

Location: Tiger Tiger: 29 The Haymarket, London

It wasn't our intention, but it's where we ended up.

We had a name on the door list to Chinawhite, nightclub of the rich and famous, where Paris Hilton, Prince William and all the other A-List stars hang out. We were walking there from Bond Street station. Our mate who was the regular had never walked, he'd always taken the taxi. We got lost. We asked random people on the way for directions. It was so exclusive, and so well hidden, no one knew where it was exactly. We asked a girl who was waiting at Oxford Circus, and thought, "We should be close by now". She also didn't know the way but she was lovely. We invited her along. Finally, the rickshaw cyclists pointed us in the right direction. Crisis over.

Short members-queue and a new friend, excellent. That was until we got to the door and the bouncer rejected us as one of our party had had a little too much. What?? No superstars tonight? First night out in London and we get rejected?

Fine. We got over the missed opportunity to hang with the big name celebs and switched to Plan B: Jewel. Not a problem. And conveniently located just around the corner from Club Exclusive. First pair our group in and then, um "Sorry guys, your friend has had too much tonight". Wow, Chinawhite really didn't just reject us for our good looks. Strike two.

It was meant to be a big night, we weren't going to stand down. What was Plan C again? Tiger Tiger: meat market of the London club scene. (Tiger Tiger: terrorist attack target June 2007). Located just off Piccadilly Circus, convenient for those guys and girls have come up short after cruising the streets for a piece of London talent. But hey, a short line, £10 cover charge and they let us in.

The markets were open for the night, the male dominated crowd was not shy, all going in with the early bids. Boys, you need to watch, to see how the market reacts before you make your next offer. Sorry, no sale here. Overall as the commercial hits played and our feet surprisingly didn't stick to the floor as we danced, it ended up being a pretty fun night out.

Item 4: Tiger Tiger? Check.... and DELETE!

Item 3: Camden Market - To Market, To Market

Location: Camden Markets, London

The Great Britain Lonely Planet states "London has more than 350 markets". At the top of my "List of Markets" to see was Camden Market.

Arriving at Camden Town by bus, tube or Silverlink, there is a sudden confusion as to which part actually constitutes the "market". Navigating our way, our first stop was Camden Lock Market to look at the gifts, jewellery and homewares alongside the standard imports from India and China that come as standard in many markets today. To refuel, the choice of international cuisine on offer was quality and came with a festival feel, rather than the food court ambiance that we later found at the neighbouring markets.

After a decent browse in the flagship Cyberdog store, for techno-funk fluro-coloured Lycra wear on top of some heavy beats, we seamlessly made our way from the Lock market to the Camden Stables, a former horse hospital that now houses antiques.

Third stop was the Canal Market, a much subdued smaller market to precede the experience up Camden High Street. The street on weekends is bustling with people, Punk Vs Tourist. The face of the buildings are reminicient of days when Doc Martens were the "in" thing and punks walked the streets with an aura of cool. How do they get their hair to stand up so spikey?

Item 3: Camden Market? Check!

Item 2: London Galleries (For Free)

Location: London City

Finances only stretch so far before the home currency stops looking so sturdy, as you glimpse at the diminishing bottom line of your bank balance, when setting up in London. Luckily my extremely generous friend offered me more than a couch - half of her double bed and her home - as I took to the task in search of a new job and flat as soon as I arrived in town. (Note: Dossing rates may apply).

In the mornings, I've hopped on to the Internet job sites to send my CV off to the half-interesting roles I can actually do, followed with some calls to a few agencies (one of whom would continuously remind me to come to the company's drinks evening), and have then been free for a regular dose of daytime TV.

But before I jump right back into the rat-race, I've also found plenty of free things to see in London. Still wearing my tourist shoes, the museums and galleries with FREE admission are plentiful throughout the city. Moreover, the collections housed are so amazingly grand you're likely to spend an afternoon there only to exit with the need to see more.

The first place I walked into was the British Museum, immediately thinking the English had the whole of Egypt transported across the seas and reassembled it inside the building. The Tate Modern brings another contrast to the art world and one which I will be surely revisiting, especially with the changing temporary exhibitions in the gallery's Turbine Hall. For the classical art appreciators, the National Gallery is sure to be a winner, whilst the Victoria and Albert Museum is a hotch-potch of the classic and contemporary all mixed up in one. There's so much more in this realm that I have yet to see and explore, but what's that I hear? Do I hear the mighty Pound Sterling calling my name?

Item 2: London Galleries? Check!

Item 1: London Calling

Location: Home (Melbourne, Australia)

The list starts here. Passport? Check. Visa? Check. Ticket? Check. Buy some travel insurance, resign from my comfortable job, complete some final paperwork, say my final farewells, pack my bags and the next thing I know I'm through the gates at the airport on a one-way ticket to London.

Upon arrival, Heathrow's lovely immigration officers welcome you with open arms. You stand in a queue labelled "Visa holders", with the thousand or more other people who have arrived in London with you from Thailand, Inida, Dubai and wherever else, just waiting.

Officer, "You're on a Working Holiday?"

OMG, I think to myself. "Yes I am." How awesome!!

Item 1: London Calling? Check!